What is mother guilt?
We cannot ignore the persistent grip of mother guilt, even if we are unfamiliar with this term. Mother guilt refers to a feeling of mishandling the kids by not properly fulfilling the duties of parenthood. Some parents become panic on even simple issues. Few moms clank around the heads if you try to make it through the day.
Origin of Mother’s Guilt
There are various origins of mother guilt ranging from personal instabilities to outer pressures from family, friends and social media. On social media, hundreds of posts may give complex to moms by showing the other mothers putting hard for their kids. Because of the strong influence of such posts on social media addicted moms, they feel inadequate about their parenting methodologies.
Boundless Contradictions
Certain suggestions from doctors, organizations and even from ancestors give rise to feelings of scarcity. Recommendations given below surround and clutch the mom, making her feel even worst.
•Squeeze the time of using cell phones, yet online reading habit is good for children.
•Let kids do exercise through their desired indoor games, but maintain the neat decorum of house.
•Be careful about your own self, however, care for children should be the first priority
Working Mothers VS Fathers
Each family has different experiences. Although mother guilt is experienced by both parents. But research shows that as compare to working dads, working moms are found to have more guilt about work interference of family.
How much mother guilt is acceptable?
Little dose of mother guilt can be proved productive. If the kid rapidly adapts unhealthy living standards, then it calls for mother guilt. Because, he needs attention of parents to improve his habits”.
Mother guilt becomes dangerous when it starts making you to stumble even upon the perfect decisions you made in past. It becomes harmful when it starts doubting your entire parenthood style. And it remains no more fruitful after starting comparing every niche and corner of your parenting style from every other person.
Mother guilt becomes devastating if it reaches at its peak even by minor sort of reasons. For example, a working lady gets home tutor for her kids due to her inflexible working hours. One day, she finds her best friend to teach her son by her own self. She then observes dual nature of relationship between her friend and her son. Being his mother, her friend shares her personal aspects with her son. While being a teacher, she owns her son as an intellectual property. The working lady then yearns to develop same kind of homely environment. Continuous popping up of this desire in her heart may prevail mom guilt. In order not to get totally stressed, this issue should be addressed properly.
Stay healthy as your kids need you
Sometimes mother guilt can cause severe depression and anxiety. As this condition points out more serious mental health conditions like postpartum anxiety. Hence it calls for seeking doctor’s consultancy. For several moms, it calls for stopping suppressed comparisons and recovering confidence in their own decisions for their families.
How to get rid of mother guilt?
One can overcome mother guilt by identifying the guilt source. While analyzing the reasons of mother guilt try to keep in mind your own childhood. Severity of mother guilt may depend on the factors like
- Attempt to adapt a better parenting style than your parents
- Struggle to combat with any physical or mental disorder while parenting
- Unpleasant consequences of any other past trauma
Stick to your norms
Set your preferences with a clear mind. Balance your life in a way you want to spend. Set the horizon and span of different activities, which your children want to do. Decor their life with each and every color and taste in order to bring them in a versatile manner. Teach them the valid basic norms and traditions by explaining their importance in life. And all above then, do not add just sayings and stories in their lives. Rather give them the way to follow the actions you do to maintain the decorum of a human’s life.
Distill your surrounding
Make yourself ensure that you have such supportive people in your surrounding who regard your moral values. Your small circle of concern with pure attentions is acceptable. But an enlarged one with disoriented thoughts may prove fatal. You should try to have small but secure and sincere company of friends and family.
Understand your kid’s feelings
Sixth sense of a mother is considered a strong sagacity. It is actually helpful in making decision. Women want to keep babies safe and healthy through the ages. Children are so intelligent in case of picking up things immediately. It is helpful if once you give them room to understand you properly. They then easily analyze your working decisions, and can convert your guilt into proud.
Protect your facts from violator
Everyone has invaders in its life. One should stay steadfast instead of getting confused. We should protect ourselves from such raiders. Firm belief in one’s school of thoughts can prevent from getting disturbed from the antagonists and their suggestions.
Hearten your dynasty
Moms should be very careful while posting their activities on social media. In fact one should not publicize one’s private life. It acts as a great invitation to the invaders for leg pulling. We can resolve this fear by sharing just mom’s proud moments and cheering each other. When Moms will be supporting other moms, then we will be able to erase mom guilt easily.
Eradicate the doubts
It is said that, “Past is history, future is mystery and today is a gift. That’s the reason it is known as present.” Instead of putting attention to such negativism, we should enjoy the moments that we own. In this way we will be able for not generating regrets for future. No one is perfect indeed, it’s the style of struggle which brings differentiation. Hence, put your best for your kid’s growth and leave the rest upon them. Just try to inculcate the maximum goodness in them. In the end, surely you will enjoy sweet fruit!
Cover Photo Credit: happiestbaby
Hi, I’m Iqra Shafi a student of medical imaging technology I have been writing for more than 2 years at different platforms and as a successful healthcare professional I found myself having a critical analysis on the health related topics. I hope you will find my content informative.
